Valentine's Day

I will never love again after this day. It's an embarrassing and highly inconvenient situation. I am obviously ugly, socially inept, and not yet emotionally mature enough to handle a serious relationship.

It's okay. I can wait.

...I think.

Psychosis

Me: I feel like sleeping on the floor tonight.

Dad: Awesome.

(I arrange everything on the floor and proceed to doze.)

Me: (suddenly waking up) Actually, I feel like sleeping on my bed now.

Dad: Cool.

Me: Oh look! A huge black spider! Right where my head would have been, had I continued to sleep on the floor!

Dad: Wow.

Me: Is it a black widow, do you think?

Dad: No. It's a wolf spider.

Me: Ah. I am disappoint.

(After the spider is removed)

Me: Sometimes I think I'm psychic.

Dad: Sometimes I think you're psychotic.

Gotta love the fam.

School Again.

I'm typing this while simultaneously trying to watch an instructional video about Teddy Roosevelt, which is no small feat, let me tell you. Especially since I am sitting less than two feet from my erstwhile history teacher. At least it's not like it was in middle school -- if you pulled out your laptop then, you were instantly surrounded by a curious crowd. Hey, whatcha typing? Why aren't you playing RuneScape? Are you typing about me? Didja know I got a rune scimmy from PKing last night? Bosh.

Anyhow, what was I going to say? I forget. History is really upsetting these days. So are chemistry and math...but then, math is always traumatizing. I hope my math teacher never reads this; she'll kill me. You never can trust math majors.

Same with biology, I assume.

Valentine's Day is in a week! Oorah.

50th Post!

This marks the 50th post since I began blogging. Have I said anything of import yet? Eh, probably not.

When is NaPoWriMo starting up again? That's the only time people read this at all, hahaha.

P.S. Not too long until I get out of high school, thank God. It seems like all the girls are bitches (even me) and all the guys are oh so shallow. Yes, I'm a bitter little soul. But only sometimes.

Sick

Stayed home today, because I was sick. Actually, "sick" isn't really the right word; it's more like "so tired and disillusioned I can't really move." I spent all morning lying in bed, occasionally drifting into disturbing dreams, then waking up sad and thirsty. It's probably time to kick up the Prozac. I really don't need my past interfering with my life right now.

Water grey

Through the windows

Up the stairs

Chilling me

like an ocean everywhere

Don't want to reach for me do you

I mean nothing to you

The little things give you away

I tried to do some work this morning with my poems, history, SAT, blah blah blah. But I kept falling asleep, wtf. Time for me to take a nap. I think I will finish this later.

All you ever wanted

was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water

I do

Pictures February

Science

Today, two of my friends were discussing their honeymoon. (Ha, I almost typed homeyboom.)

Friend 1: We're not using Sandals.
Friend 2: Ahhh! Why not?
Friend 1: Because apparently Sandals is only for ridiculously hot people.
Me: (*wheeze* which you are.)
Friend 2: Which I am.

Silence, scribbling.

Friend 2: But we're not going to Germany!
Friend 1: Why not?!
Friend 2: Have you ever heard of ANYONE having --
Teacher: ALL RIGHT YOU GUYS, STFU.

Silence, more scribbling.

Me: I love science, because when you talk about it, it sounds trippy.
Teacher: RAAAAAAAWRRL. *huffs and searches for stocks*

I lol'ed.
It's shit like this that gets me addicted to chemistry.

Inspiration

Today, when I woke up, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, You are the end product of hundreds of years of fighting against racism and sexism. Oh, if you could only see the suffering that went into getting you where you are today. Remember your grandparents? "No, we don't serve Indians here?" Or your mom? "No, even though it's below freezing, you're not allowed to wear pants?"

Remember how your mom never got past geometry and your dad never got above a C in math until his junior year of college? Look at you. An 87 in precalculus. Girl, every step you take breaks stereotypes.

It was only then that I found the courage to get up and get dressed.

I am the next Woodrow Wilson.

Don't read this if you don't like curse words

FUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Fuck. My. Life. -.-

HORMONES!!!!

RAAAAAAGE!

-sigh-